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Friday, December 28th, 2007
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1:30 pm - i guess when you are asked you do :)
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I guess it has beeen a busy year, school takes so much work and time and I must admidt that I am tired of going lately.. it takes so much effort. The good thing (I guess) is that I get top grades and will be accepted to any college I want, if I keep it up this year, so I suppose that is nice. The thing is it feels kind of empty, like it does not matter. must fun is the art class I take, painting again is rather nic and it has a lot of art histery and appressiation, which is good to know more about.
My kids get older wiser and more annoying´sometimes.. i guess it is easier to be the mom of 3 stupid boys than of 3 who wants to know all there is to know and hopefully without having to do an effort or wait for their turn to ask LOL . well i just hope they keep that quest for knowledge up when they get older.
My marrige is good and I love my husband as he loves me so nothing fun to write about there .. I guess heartache makes a more interresting tale with all the explaining to do and all the crying than the words "I am happy" does.. but that is life I guess. Our biggest fight is to get the money to go around, with 3 kids and both of us studying it gets .. challenging... but oh happiness allan will be done not this summer but the next so that is something to look forward to :)
I have to go study now I guess.
hugs
marianne
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| Sunday, January 21st, 2007
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11:46 pm - I am just not evil enough to be evil
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| You Are 16% Evil | 
You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want! |
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| Wednesday, December 20th, 2006
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12:42 pm
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well I am not quite sure how I ended up looking at my live journal again .. its difinately been a while since i have updated it...
First I Guess I should wish all that might read this a merry Christmas and a happy new year :) odd another year has gone by, It all feels the same somehow, get up, go to school, take care of kids, clean, do homework, sleep and yet it is a very full life in its own way.
I did ok on last years exams so well that i doubt i can live up to the B+ average next year.. i am not so dedicated this year as i was last year... it just seems silly to get an average that can get me into any school I want, and then be so limited because of my health to which to choose from, that I wont need more than a C-.. I mean what is the point with that ? it just feels like a fools quest. I know this and yet i can see myself trying to do well even though it has no point.. maybe it is some sort of odd human survival behavior ?
we visited my in-laws last night and i was reminded why it is so very hard to get Allan to go see them .. they really are very different from us by now. they all smoke, look down upon education ( since both Allan and I study now we ofcourse do not agree) belive in a very strict and sometimes physical way of raising children and think all advice to what is healthy or not, is a joke. of course they can be nice to but most of the time they just seem very uneducated and boisterous. it was kinda funny though: Alexander my oldest son was a bit loud during a speech ( from one drunk fool btw can understand why he did not think we had to listen to a grown up behaving like that) and i was talking to him about staying quiet, but then his cousin came and tried to play .. but the cousin does not speak when he plays he is very wild and so is all of them but they dont say any loud noises at all.. well their cousins father suddenly yells to Alexander " SHUT UP KID!" and Alexander just looked at them very oddly and continiued to play. now normally i would be upset but that.. but a mean little mini me was kinda glad that my son was not afraid of the shouting drunken fool, cause he never had to be afraid. His cousin on the other hand got more than scared of his fathers shouting.
It felt really good to come back home...I think I become quite boring after I had Morgan I just want that safety feeling and not to relate to much to strangers or people I do not like that much.
People has begun to contact me through my homepage when they need new pets and that feels great especially that they remember it.. I even had one person talking about it to me without knowing it was mine :) that was kinda fun :) she got all excited when I told her and wanted to come see all the pets. My chinchilla had a new baby last week and she is so very cute that i am thinking about keeping her which would be very foolish :)
well I guess that is all for now.
*hugs*
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| Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
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3:30 am
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I can't sleep.
I do know what to do, I just dont want to do it, or rather it is difficult for me.
I got some stronger pain medication two weeks ago, now I am allergic to it it seems, it gives me cramps like I had a wound in my tummy. Basicly I have gotten allergic to all "normal" kinds of pain killers. If i stay on medication it will be on the kind i got today instead of the old one, with a big red warning signal painted on the front, it makes you sleepy and it is not safe to go into traffic on your own cause your disorientated.. great, just what I wanted ....pills that make me into a drug addict with great big nice abstinences if I forget to take them, and a tendensy to forget to breathe.
I cannot begin taking those pills, I will not loose control over myself or my bodydur to medication, it is not an option in my head, so I have to live on without painkillers.
I have to get rid of most of my animals, when I clean their cages it is very painful, but I love the animals so much. I don't want to.
Alexander turned seven years old today, I cannot understand my son have allready grown so old.. where does time go ? I think he had a nice day :)
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| Saturday, March 4th, 2006
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9:33 am
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Alexander was at the hospital to have his ears checked last week. And it was not so easy to fix his hearing as the normal ear doctor had led me to believe. apparently they think he might have a inherited ear sickness that will slowly make him completely deaf. It was a hard day for me. He of course does not understand as i have not told him the implications yet. we have to go back in 4 months for more checkups before they become sure of it.
I just been to the doctor and he changed my medication for the pain to something stronger. it is a horrible big amount of pills i have to swallow each evening, but it helps. I actually woke up with almost no pain this morning. Normally the pain wakes me in the middle of the night so i have to get up, take my pills and wait for them to work before i can fall asleep again.. but no more of that now :)
besides that I am closing up on midterm tests in school and i really hope it will go well, i am not the best writer in the world, so it takes a long time for me to write a good essay, but this time i have to do just that in a fairly short amount of time.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
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7:46 pm
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Alexander was at the ear doctor today.. apparently my son is almost deaf, the good thing is that the reason for the deafness is that he has allot of fluid inside his ears, so an operation can fix the problem. So now we have to wait for the hospital to contact us about that.
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| Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
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3:56 am
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Christmas is not a day or a big party, it is a state of your mind and heart.
If we love our neighbor as we love our selves, if we fill our hearts with grace.
If we help others when we can, and give a little piece of our selves to people in need.
If every day dawns, filled with opportunity and ends with good deeds no matter how small and insignificant they may seem to be. Then we can carry the spirit of Christmas in our hearts always.
Merry christmas to all of you.
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| Monday, November 21st, 2005
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10:45 pm - well hiya :)
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Sometimes you get so angry at a person that you just wish you could smash something to get the frustration out after talking to them. I met such a person today (but behaved) and now i am trying to figure out what to do about it ?
The kids are doing well, Morgan is walking now and I am almost done making my homepage now which is surprisingly fun to do.
I am so tired all the time, this hole studying with 3 young children is more than a full time job, infact a day should have more hours :)
Oh well, things will work them self out I guess.
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| Thursday, October 27th, 2005
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8:03 pm
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why won't my stupid homepage domain name not work? they should have fixed it today .... grrrrr......
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
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9:52 pm
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LOL Morgan crawled into our bed, picked up the remote and lay down just like his father does, and started to zap channels until he hit a music channel... he looked so grown with his body-stocking, diaper and baby face ;)
Did not get a picture.. he moved :(
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| Friday, October 21st, 2005
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12:34 am
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Allan am making a homepage for me.
I have to write all the stuff, make graphics for it and so on, and he makes it look like I want it to.
it is kinda fun :) the link is: kaninhulen.mageling.dk if anyone is curious...it is not done yet, so allot of the stuff is missing still.
My sisters daughter kinda had an accident while she was out playing on the lawn.
She was so embarrassed that she did not tell us, instead she just hid it and acted like nothing was wrong.
At the end of the day it was pretty clear what had happened, since she really smelled.
So after they went home, I had to clean both couches and the dining room chair seats, with anti bacterial soap.
Great! just love that... wish she had just told right away, would have been so much easier for me to just lent her a pair of pants.
Fall is here...and it is wet.
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| Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
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7:38 pm
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Why do teachers always torment their students with tons of essays in the last week up the an holiday? two essays for the same day is just to much.
My head still spins with all the ideas from the danish essay I just finished, and yet I have to fill my head with a way to get the next one down on paper.
Yes I should have been done by now and not sit here being a last minute writer, but they keep loading more homework on us, and I am having a very difficult time keeping up.
*grumble* just wanna go to bed early and watch a silly movie or have some sex.
ok done complaining now.. I think..
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5:41 pm - Lol
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sorry its in danish
"Jesus gik forbi et kors og så blev han pludseligt slået med en kæp og naglet fast imod sin vilje. Så korsede han sig."(Halvor 6 år)
"Nogle kastede sten på hans grav. Derfor stod Jesus op og blev jøde. Og så blev der stor opstandelse" (sofie 9 år)
"jeg har spist en discipel engang, men den smagte ikke særligt godt" (Sophie 7 år)
I am doing ok, have tons of homework and to little time to do them in, and I need more time to take care of my family, but somehow it all seems to work out.
With both Allan and I studying we don't have any money, but by some miracle we all still get fed.
I am however a little worried about how to get money for christmas presents for the kids, but I guess that even with homemade gifts it will still become christmas :)
It looks like maybe if I am lucky I will get christmas holiday the 9 of december instead of the 22. I
f that is the case I will have lots of time to make christmas special for the kids even if santa brings small presents, the holiday is not about gifts but about sharing, being with loved ones and having time to get involved and show you care.. we can bake and decorate, tell stories and go meet Santa, sing Christmas songs and go visit elderly people no matter what happens.
The feeling that all will be ok kinda shocks me, because normally I am very worried about these things.
Oh well...
I turned 30 years old on the 7. October. did not want to throw a party and actually planned to clean all the rabbit cages that day.
but my brother brought me fresh bread in the morning for breakfast. and Allan and mom had invited all over for cake and stuff in the afternoon so i got a surprise party when I came home from school.
Got lots of nice presents, gold earrings and a gold necklace with a heart shaped cirkon studded pendant from mom and dad. A year pass to the zoo from my sister. One wonderful book from my brother and his family, some nice embroidered slippers from my little sister, a drawing from my oldest son, chokolat and a flower from some friends, and a huge bunch of flowers from my husband delivered to the door, he actually remembered which flowers was used at our wedding and had them use the same.
In the evening he took me out for dinner.
It was a wonderful day. He is so wonderful when he does things like that.
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| Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
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4:58 pm
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I think maybe I spent to much time at home with the kids.
Spending time observing the young people, when I waite for the bus to arrive after school, has reminded me how evil teens are, and how empty... I forgot.
There is a cross dresser at school and she/he also took the bus today. The way those teens behaved was scary, so selfish with no regard for the poor persons feelings. It was like seeing a flock of baboons chasing some poor small creature.
I really hope I can teach my children to accept people and not do things that are mean, just because they can.
It was such a sad thing to look at today. So much potential spent so badly.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
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7:33 am
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American Cities That Best Fit You:
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60% New York City |
55% Boston |
55% Philadelphia |
55% San Francisco |
50% Chicago |
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(comment on this)
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7:19 am - some people ....
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Karen told me, that an odd man had been by mom and dads house where my rabbits live, he was asking to then and counting cages.
I currently have 18 cages but not that many rabbits so some of them are empty.
I have a feeling that my parents horrible neighbours might have tried to turn me in to some animal welfare society or something. Only trouble is that my animals are been looked very well after.
I very much doubt I will get in any trouble, but to be on the sure side I think I will try to get a permit to have my rabbits where they are, just in case.
Mom and dads neighbours don't like animals, I have seen them throw rocks afters cats that went into their garden, or throw buckets of water over them.
They turn people into the police all the time,for crazy stuff like: I think their dog pooped on the street infront of my house, or they had this heap of sand infront of the house in more than 3 days. They are abselutely not nice and frankly need to get a life instead of looking into all the houses and gardens around them.
bah... dumb people!
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| Saturday, August 20th, 2005
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10:55 pm - I am alive I guess :)
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Ive finished building the rabbit cage and is currently trying to get it painted. It will become the same red as many swedish houses and also have small amounts of white on it.
My birds have 3 babie birds. I think they will soon leave the nest, they are so big allready that it is hard to believe that they where in a tiny egg 3 weeks ago. When they call their parents for food they sound so funny, I love it :)
Alexander started school and is settling in well. It sounds like he got some nice friends to play with.
Johan started kindergarden and we do get some reactions about the long hours from him. He likes to be there and play, but not so many hours.
My mom is babysitting Morgan when I am in school.
It is fun to learn stuff, but the hours are also very long when your stuck in a chair and it really hurts to sit down. I am not sure I will be able to do it for 3 years to be honest, but I will try my very best, the alternative is a sick pension for the rest of my life and I REALLY dont want that.
Allan started to study to become a teacher and he seems very excited about it all, learning stuff again and meeting new people becomes him.
I just hope that we can manage keeping the hole parents/husband and wife thing going along side all those busy busy days.
I myself are more than a little torn to pieces over how much other people are looking after my kids. Strangers that I do not know the moral and ethics of spent more time with my kids every day than I do, and when I finally do get home to spent time with them, all the time seems to fly by with practical stuff.
I miss the soul in the family, and I miss the kids horribly during the day.
I am so tired when I get home and hurt so much I can hardly move, so I just feed my children, makes Allan give them a bath, put them to bed. and then I crawl into bed to tired to even think about homework, sex or talking.
Allan tried to put a movie on for us to watch a couple of evenings, but I fall asleep after the first ten minutes.
Guess the keywords are worried, hurting and to tired to think. So please bear with me for not posting very often.
I do think of you all and hope you are doing well.*hugs*
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| Sunday, July 17th, 2005
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1:03 pm - animals and my life .. well some of it...
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I have moved the four hamster babies that survived into a small aqvarium away from thier parents. It is 4 days early, but I can see hamster mommy is pregnant again which would make her due day in 4 days, and last time she killed all her old babies 2 days before that.
I just hope the babies are old enough to cope the early move. They have started to eat the normal food and has been exploring the cage for some days now.
I am quite nervous about how it will go, but guess that time will tell.
I did not know how to give them water without a risk of drowning them when they live in an aqvarium so I used one of the water dispensers for the birds that could stand on the bottom, I don't think it will be big enough for them to drown in.
I have a rabbit with due day tomorrow but I am not entirely sure that she is pregnant, she behaves like it, but is not very big, and she does seem kinda down in spirit. Guess I will know by tomorrow or the day after if all is alright or not with her.
Last time she almost did not show pregnancy either and she only got one baby, a huge boy who now is the most curious little thing (actually he is huge for his age, but he is a dwarf rabbit therefor small)
Allan is in copenhagen to visit a friend and I miss him so bad, he says he will be home this evening, and i am looking forward to it. I cannot seem to fall asleep when he is not here.
My neighbor very obviously want her younger son and Alexander to be friends. I am not fond of the idea. first he is almost eleven which means he will control Alexander most likely.
I have seen the boy smoke down behind the house already, and his older brother just got moved to a youth institution by force, cause he was way out of line, stealing, not attending school, bothering people and so on...I don't want my sons to hang with kids like that.
On the other hand I do not want to be a bad neighbor, but in this case I have to say no.
She came in to see the apartment the other day, and Allan got so angry at me for inviting her in, he did not want any of the family to see our stuff cause they steal.
He was right it was unwise. I am just so bad at turning people away when they have not yet brought offense to me.
It looks like we will get a break from the heat, we actually had a little rain yesterday, and it was most welcome. if i am lucky it will be dry but partly cloudy tomorrow so I can spent the hole day on building my new rabbit cage.
I am behind schedule with that cause it was so hot outside that i got sick if I spent time out from 12 till 5pm.
I really need to get it done, my new rabbits are currently living in huge cages in my living room and they make a mess, stink and one of them is also pregnant, I want her moved before she is due, you cannot change the cage straw one week before due day and up to 3 weeks after since it stresses the mommy rabbit, sometimes so much she kills her babies.
I really dont want that stench in my livingroom. The new outdoor cage has to get finished.
I gave all my birds nesting boxes, I have never tried to have birds breeding before so it will be fun to see if they will in my home with all the boys around.
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| Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
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6:20 pm
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I dont like splinters.
There is not enough time in the day.
It is to hot.
I love my birds, but their cages are not pretty, one day i want a huge one outside so they can almost fly free.
my new rabbits are beutiful, but I wish my new cage was finished.
My husband and I do seldom see things the same way, when it comes to how to look after animals, he is much more relaxed about it than I am.
I am tired of pain.
I dream to much.
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| Friday, June 17th, 2005
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10:39 pm
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I must be getting old for real.
I am actually making draped curtains in my dining room.. is scary.
pretty soon I will probably start to do odd things, like washing plastic bags to re-use them, like my grandma did.
Thought about my grandma today, she died a couple of years ago.
I saw a black slug on the path I was walking on and it made me think of her.
She always used to take us out for a walk, to find orange slugs when she came here to visit. She said she had never seen them anywhere else.
They where very common around here when I was a young girl, but since I moved back I have not seen any, only allot of brown and black ones.
It is odd, but it seems fitting they are gone now she is, I kinda feel it was HER slugs.
I am preparing to host a native american themed goodbye party for Alexanders daycare group next wenedsday. I am beginning to feel a little stress building.
I still need to find poles to use for a little tipi, make the big tipi and paint it, and make one of those skin drying things. I need to paint the kids costumes, make them necklaces and beltbags, make my own kids costumes, pick up the grown ups costumes and make them ready, and get the apratment finished after our big move things around thing, and cleaned so it is shining if anyone needs to use the bathroom.
So much to do and the party is so close at hand.
I really hope it will go well, and Alexander will have a good time.
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